CHAPTER SEVEN

Neither Mrs Grose nor I went to church that evening. Instead, together, we headed to the room I used to give lessons to the children. We were both quite upset by the new discovery we had just made. As soon as the door was closed behind us, we both began to pray and cry. Once we had calmed down enough, we then talked some more about the situation and told each other what we knew about it. I was the only person in the entire house who had seen the man, and yet Mrs Grose did not doubt that it was true. She did not once accuse me of being crazy or ill. I was truly surprised by how understanding and gentle she became toward me.

We decided to deal with the problem together. Promises were made to do whatever we had to do to protect the children and one another. And at the end of our conversation, I found myself feeling less frightened and much stronger than before.

"You're sure he was searching for somebody other than yourself?"

"I know who he wanted now," suddenly very clear in my mind, "He wanted to find poor Miles."

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

"I'm sure of it. There's no doubt that it was Miles that he wanted," I said, getting more and more anxious, "And I think that you understand this too!"

Mrs Grose did not argue with me. Instead, she asked, "Do you think that Miles can see him, like you see him?"

"I think that is the man's purpose."

A look of terrible fear came over the housekeeper's face. "Little Miles?"

"I don't think it's only Miles that he wants to be seen by. I think he also wants Flora to see him." I was determined then to be the only one to see the man. I had to protect the children in any way that I could and make sure that they never met him. I remembered saying to Mrs Grose, "I'm surprised that the children haven't said anything about Peter Quint. About when he had worked here and spent time with them."

"Well, Flora is too young to remember. Besides, we never told her."

"What do you mean? You never told her about his death? But surely Miles remembers him quite well."

"Oh please, don't mention that man to him!"

"You mustn't be so frightened!" I said, giving her a serious look. Then I thought about it a bit more and said, "You know, it is very strange."

"What? The way he never talks about that man?"

"Yes. I mean, you told me earlier tonight that the boy and the man were very close friends when he worked here. I would think that the man's name would have been mentioned at least once during my time with Miles. But not a single word has ever been spoken about it."

"When I say friends, I mean that Quint showed the boy special attention. I don't know exactly how Miles felt about him, but it was clear that Quint liked the boy very much. He had no sense of what was proper, that man!"

"You mean he wasn't proper with our little Miles?" I asked, feeling suddenly very ill in my stomach.

"He wasn't proper with anyone!" she replied.

I thought about this for a while. He may not have been well behaved, this Peter Quint fellow, but, until now, his name had never been mentioned by anyone in my presence. It comforted me a little that there was no horrible history or talk around town about the house or the children's family. Obviously, nothing too serious had happened before.

As Mrs Grose was preparing to leave the classroom, I asked her before she reached the door, "So are you sure that Quint was a bad man? I must know, for it's extremely important."

"I was aware of his badness, but the children's father was not. Not everyone could see Quint's true nature."

"You didn't mention anything to the children's father?"

"He refused to listen to people when they had only bad things to say about others. If he liked a person then it was enough to satisfy him that they were good."

This seemed very believable. From what I had heard about the old master, he liked to avoid trouble, especially in his home. However, I was still upset with Mrs Grose, "I'd have gone to him and told him everything! There's no doubt about it!"

"I feel guilty about not saying anything, but you don't know how frightened I was."

"Frightened? Why?"

"Quint could very easily hurt people. He was smart and he did not forgive people easily."

"But you weren't afraid of how he might influence the children? Wasn't that a greater fear than the fear you had for your own safety?"

"His influence?" she said, looking very hurt.

"Yes. Those children could not protect themselves. You were their only protector. You were the only one who could have helped them!"

"I could not have helped! Their father liked Quint. He trusted him. If I had said anything to the master, I would simply have lost my job. Nothing would have changed here."

I was sure that there was something that. Mrs Grose was not telling me. She knew something more, but she was too afraid to say anything to me about it. I could not stop thinking about it all week long. At night, as I lay in bed, sleep was made impossible by the image I had in my mind of Peter Quint living and working here at the house. I thought about how horrible a time that must have been for the children. It upset me greatly. The way he had died, made his character seem all the more bad. A worker had discovered his body one early morning. He was lying in the middle of the road that ran between the house and the nearby village. People had seen him drinking a lot at the pub the night before. He had a head injury that seemed to indicate that he had fallen on the icy road.

Having learned about all of this, I now felt that the job I had been asked to do was a very difficult one. And I decided to do my best to succeed better than the women before me had. I did not once doubt that I should do this. Never did the idea to leave the house enter my mind. I am quite proud to say this, actually. The children were in danger and they had no one to help them. I was their only hope. And they were my only hope. I would act like a human wall. I would see everything so that they could see nothing. From that time forward, I watched them very closely. I observed their every move and word to see if there was any sign of Quint in them. And, eventually, I did see something.

I first noticed something while I was with little Flora one afternoon. Instead of going outside with us, Miles had asked to be allowed to finish reading a book he was very interested in. I, of course, approved of this. It is, after all, seldom that a child will prefer reading to running about in the sunshine. Flora, on the other hand, was very happy to accompany me on my walk around the property. As we walked, the sun was at its highest point in the day. I noticed how much Flora tried to be like her older brother. Both children never demanded all of my attention. They could play on their own quite easily and happily. And yet, they never seemed too cold to me either. The result was that we could be together without bothering each other at all. I could be in my own little world and Flora could be in hers, and still, we would be aware of one another. Occasionally, they would include me in their little world and imagine that I was a princess or queen, or something. On this day, I couldn't remember what Flora thought I was. I just remembered her calling the lake we walked around The Caspian Sea, for we had recently been studying world maps.

I remembered that I had sat down to rest a bit under the cool shadow of a tree next to the lake. I had begun to work on a sweater I was sewing for the coming winter, when I suddenly felt that someone was with Flora and me. I then looked across the 'sea' and saw someone standing there watching us. There was no doubt about what I saw, for the day was still very bright. Immediately, I began to try and think who it might be. There were plenty of workers at the house, who very easily could have appeared in the yard. It could have been the mailman or boy from the village. I did not look directly at the person, for I was afraid. Instead, I looked down at my sewing and continued to do my work. Then I heard Flora become silent for a very short moment. I looked up and found her turning slowly away from the lake. Then she began to play again. I watched her to see if she showed any other indications of having noticed the person. I completely expected her to stop playing again and stare over at the stranger. However, she did not. Instead, she found a small, flat piece of wood with a hole in it. She then tried filling the hole with several different sticks in order to make something that looked like a boat. Then she took it over to the water and set it down to sail. I returned my eyes to the sweater in my hands and then, gaining as much courage as I could, managed to look in the direction of our visitor.

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